angriness

It was slightly longer than no time ago that I was able to vent some frustration. I dare say things have been going well. Someone pointed out to me that was evidenced by the poverty of speech up in this crackerjack. True, likely true. Things have been better. Take some time to see if there is something that may change your surroundings so that life is easier, so that you dont complain about the same things to yourself time adn time again. Those things will always appear, but with some motion the negativity can be translated into new better things around you. No builds up inside you and you say it and eventually something changes. No builds up too much and you say no to things you dont actually care about and then even to things you really want to say yes to.

Making a move though is a big deal though. You cant go home again and so forth. What Im still struck by is how long it took for me to decide to move. What forces hold you back . Being sedentary because you have no energy. Being depressed so you can think about the good or visualize anything so theres no reason to change anything. Being not sure. Inertia. Fear, etcetrioni. How though to apply the lesson that moving worked and betting on something you cant quite see can pay off big when everything you see and think about blows wicked bad.

so with back to old lendings and learnings. Oops I forgot again that I dont want to hear from my ex girlfriend. What you say? I forgot that I dont want to hear about her life, imagine her voice talking to me and the warmth. Lucidly fertile love. Was that what it was there. Do I know belief in true love and the one who always comes back? eh? Playing it cooler than I did in the summer, now I bum more or less with an intensity inversely proportional to how connected things get. Change of weather, vitamin or two and boom-swoosh, what time did she last write. Not recently. Remember well getting in a cycle, thinking wow we finally settled into a knowing of something of each other. Neither doubting that communication is good. Too hot to too cold though. Good for her, not thinking about me. Not wanting to write. I wouldnt want to write. And I didnt really last time for any more than to keep this intangible on life support. Now I want it though. I like round numbers though. A whole literal week after I expected her to give some notice of pain or care or hide and seek, I will say something like.

Ta, hey there I was just something er other and wanted to remind you that Im here but really dont feel like you have to write I just wanted to tell you so and so because I like thinking that you are not just a historical pixel on the slideshow here. Good one, endearing. Quite possibly the best you can do. Is there wrong to covering the base that is, hot damn, havent felt that good in a long ever, and I wonder if its the last that I do. Can you imagine chasing her down? Perhaps across a continent. Is that what its supposed to take? Rules Ive seen would have me meeting the real one of my dream at the restaurant where me and my lady final remeet. So chill fool, ice cold and professional. This is the business of your life.