angriness

been resting and walking for a while. More and more sets come to mind. Focused on the past to a lesser degree, working to surround myself with futuristic thoughts. Its encouraging to close your eyes for a few moments and consider how the spaceship has improved. New crew, old crew still doin the thing. For some time I found myself dangerously close to getting involved as they say. Like electrostatics, you get too close and the attractive power can be incredible. There were some tests run on the positive feedback cycle of attraction. Can you get liking one and still be on the scene? Can there truly be partitioning? Not so much sober. Once your mind starts comforting itself thinking and wondering about another, or my mind at least, views on other girls slide. Now the balancing act ensues. No Im not ready for a relationship, yes, I will be in one if I dont balance well. Again, why get away from the doubling comfort?

Loss of self. Loss of self time, freedom, loss of potential meetings with people who blow you away. Not being blown away doesnt necessarily kill the likelihood of enjoyment of involvement, but being blown away, and knowing for sure its time to up the throttle, thats what Im looking for. The other reason is that breaking is the worst. The other reason is that getting involved when your in a rapid change zone or on shakey footing isnt fair. And you cant enjoy as much the reiterative meeting of people that gets you to shift your definition of yourself forward.

Advice, call people, say hello, power through awkwardness that erupts on most channels all the time. Prove to people that you dont care about the small stuff, then proving it to yourself. Caught on past experience in mind, press through to visions of the future, tonight, tomorrow, friday, Forces you to see a version in your head, and then you will make turns that better face you towards goals, as with something in mind you step closer to it than if you had nothing, or the past. Couldnt step to it if it wasnt there, clearly.

In that vein, pornography was dropped. While stimulation is a treat and allows simpler lifestyles, the drain on the brain is uneeded and inappropriately ensues with such easy access to ideas of such nature. Its out. Visualization and scarring of cortecese with such imagery can at this point only separate more for me the notion of a girl and the actual possibility of finding someone I want to hold so hard as to become part of her. Thats my goal, give up my brain and take on yours. I see it happen, and it can warm a room, even one full of coldhearted minds like myself. restate the assumption. With my eyes open and with faith to myself first, I will find some people worth plunging off cliffs with.