angriness

Spring appears at long last. Not trusting ti to say but walking around without a jacket is a novel pleasure. None of these things should be feeling novel but I just cant remember what it was like to feel comfortable for very long at a time recently. Cant nail down an effort that saves me. cant remember the last good save. A failure to try to get anything really done. Break. Back to the drawing bored with assumptions restated. Im a scientist in training. I have at times been very driven to think about and write about science. I have been as of late not very productive. I buy musical equipment and pile it into a room where I make all kinds of noise. I intend to have a significant impact on something by recording music and practicing science. I can say that but I havent felt it for some time. There is good reason to expect change in the near future, but lets have a moment of silence for being a loser, shall we? Over and over again time lost and people lost and time lost and chances lost so that I could watch them go over the edge. What pleasure to experience the sight rather than the experience. I have seen this before. I know what happens next. Have some thoughts to hold dear over the reader as she sits and shimmers. The sky left me months ago. The moon grabs its bags and looks at me, dissapointed. Yeah sorry guys I guess I will just have to try harder. Thanks for the memories.